My precious Mum

My  precious Mum

Dawn with tea pot

Dawn with tea pot

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Quality time with our Mummy

23 & 24th October 2012-10-24 Mum says she feels as if she`s come back to her senses. After being asleep all day the day before, & being in a dark place for the past week..seeing people coming up close to her annoying her.. She was so coherent she even asked me if I was missing bowls to be there..Incredible! Wednesday. I asked Mum if she could see what colour my skirt was, she has always liked to see what I am wearing..She said it`s black & white…she was right, then I asked her what team that was, her response was, there`s only one team..Collingwood…gobsmacked we all were.. Later on during the afternoon, she became very sleepy, eventually she told us she has asked the Lord to take her..She is at peace resting in the Lord..Mum went to her Saviour on the 19th November 2012

Friday, January 21, 2011

Mum told us another story about Don, our oldest bro`..

Mum was telling us yesterday of an incident that she recalls when Don first married Margaret & they were renting a house opposite from her, they used to leave their empty milk bottles out with money for the milky each morning, he would replace it with full bottles in exchange for the money, well Mum recalls Don telling her that some children were stealing the money before the milky could get it, so Don decided one day to wait for the culprit...he sat hiding just waiting for the boy to show up.
Eventually he returned, reaching his hand in to take the money, he was shocked, because instead of moeny in his hands he felt a big hand holding onto him, scared him so bad, he never did return..

Amazes me the stories that keep popping into Mum`s mind, I ask her to tell me anything like that when she remembers it, these stories are priceless, would never know of them if she didn`t recall them, even Don had to be reminded of this story, he had forgotten it.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010



When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Don & his brand new bike

When Don was 7 , he received a brand new bike for christmas..he could`nt wait to ride it out on the street...he went out onto Epping road, following some older boys on bikes.

While riding down the road a car came from behind, Don sensed the car was there & did a panic...instead of moving off the road he moved further into the centre of the road, to his dismay the car seemed to follow him, guess he was trying to get past the bike..the end result was that the man in the car ran right over Don & his bike, everyone thought Don would be a goner for sure...but amazingly he was unhurt..

Old Mr Sanderland

Old Mr Sanderland was driving his car along the unmade road heading toward my little 2 to 3 year old brother Allen, who was sitting playing in the road...because Mr Sanderland was so old,he sat low down in the seat.. therefore could`nt see out the front window too well...he failed to notice Allen on the road & proceeded to run right over top of him...thankfully the big old car was high off the ground...otherwise who knows the it was Allen remained untouched by the incident at all..Mr Sanderland happened to be a Dr, he thoroughly checked Allen over, making sure he was ok..Why he was playing in the road in the first place was a mystery..

Skippy Dog.

Mum rembered a fabulous story today, after telling her of David & Linda`s milo dog..

She remembered an incident with her little dog she named Skippy..she said he was a very smart dog...& told us of this time when he proved just how smart he really was..

She heard him barking at the back door, it was just beginning to get dark...after going to see what all the fuss was about, Skippy, when asked what was the matter, ran to the back of the yard, (where there was a bungalow my sister & her family lived in for awhile..) then he came running back to Mum to try to get her to come...Mum soon realized he was wanting her to follow. ...he went right round the back of the bungalow...where Mum found the young boy from next door, trying to hide in the corner...he had a heap of crumpled papers along with a box of matches...he`d been planning to set the paper alight, which could have resulted in burning down the bungalow..

Mum said the boy was so frightened of the dog, he had him cornered..

Who knows what may have happened had Mum`s smart little Skippy dog not have intervened!! Good boy Skippy....

Lovely words to ponder, at the loss of a loved one.

Let us not flounder in the winter of our grief.
Nor bear the parching summer of our loss.
Beyond the proper seasons of our lives.
For life is lost if life is not retained.
Through, memories that cannot be erased.
Through goodness that is giving of ourselves and,
Through the understanding, that our love will never die.
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